I have been doing some reflecting and how siblings help shape the people we are- and what do you know, Time Mag, came out with an article stating the same thing. I know I am married to an academic- but until some PHD studies lab rats- something is not true! the article basically stated that siblings may have more to do with who we are then parents or friends etc. Something I am experiencing for the first time with my own kids- and makes me reflect on my own childhood. Conflict resolution?-where else did I learn that skill!! I think I am pretty tough skinned- it takes a lot to get me really upset- having 4 older siblings and 1 younger- did I really have a choice?! what traits do I have because of my siblings? weird- somedays i think they know me the best, other days I don’t think they know me at all-I watch Eli- as he gets older he is interacting more and more with Ben Michael- they are fast becoming each others playmates and they know already know which buttons to press- literally- if he wants to make ben michael angry- turn the TV off- then stand back and watch the reaction! or the fight begin- which little eli- half his size never backs down from- he will go back for more- he does not cry until he is really hurt- he just runs back and hits ben michael- poor thing because ben michael can just lay him out- but he stands up and gets him again. Not that I condone their fighting- but i do think it is good training for later in life- I can see the determination in his eyes, as if he is thinking “no one is going to treat me that away and get away with it!”
Also, just his development, the two boys are night and day in behavior patterns- but he picks up so many things ben michael does or say- sometimes I think at this age ben michael has a greater influence in his behavior then I do. His activities, the words he uses, the way he walks- all emulated after his big brother. Something as simple as what he will eat- Eli loves salad- Ben Michael will not eat it- first words out of Ben Michaels mouth when we sit down to dinner is “I don’t like it mom”- then Eli the litte parrot says the same thing- when I know very well he does! He eventually eats it!! I am constantly telling Ben Michael he is Eli’s teacher- and his behavior is important for Eli and Miles- it’s a lot of responsibility for a 3 (almost 4 year old) but he is up for the challenge!( I hope!) It has had some positive effects on Eli- Ben Michael is a very neat child while Eli is all over the place- I just noticed Eli has started to line his shoes up at the door like his big brother- so I guess there are positive and negative effects to this whole sibling thing!
It is weird to watch as a parent, but that is all i can do is watch with amazement- and wonder what God’s plan is for these boys- and what my role is?- I guess to guide them through it- and hope they will be there for each other through the end-
as hard as it is, having them so close in age for me and michael- I hope the gift they receive is each others friendship- for life.
Here is a link to the article- it is very interesting!!
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1209949,00.html
